Our wedding day is among the most memorable of our lives. We believe our marriage will stand the test of time and our futures will be full of smiles, laughter and love – but the reality is sometimes marriages can go stale, leaving one or both members feeling alone or even unwanted.
This sense of loneliness happens so often, thousands choose to separate or get divorced rather than turning to the Lord, or even each other, for help.
You know times are bad when you’re out with your spouse but you feel lonely – even when your spouse is sitting right beside you.
Sometimes it’s just the little things you miss, the small signs your spouse cares, such as the gentle, almost thoughtless caress of their hand on yours, the small favors like finishing chores for you or surprising you with a night out.
These small moments always mean the most, but after starting a family, getting promotions at work, getting busy with other things and losing track of our relationships, it’s easy to forget how to live as a wife or husband.
Everything starts to blend together and suddenly we realize our marriage isn’t the same as it was – and that we aren’t as happy as we were either.
Like any relationship, a marriage can fail when both spouses stop listening to one another and stop trying to communicate through love languages.
We must never stop dating our spouse. God created them specifically for us, so we must always take advantage of the little moments.
Communicating when we have problems is just as important as talking when we have compliments or other nice things to say. A marriage is a team and a team works together to find solutions to problems.
If you’re feeling lonely in your marriage, mention it to your spouse. They can’t read your mind and neither can you. You may feel your spouse doesn’t care that you’re hurting when the reality is they may not even know.
There are several ways to improve a marriage once it begins to feel more like a roommate situation than a real relationship rooted in love, but the number one thing to do is ask God for help.
A beautiful prayer inspired by Crosswalk is an excellent one to offer the Lord in your time of loneliness:
I come to you for help, Lord.
Marriage is a gift and a treasure – perfectly designed by You but sometimes poorly executed by me.
Thank you, Father, for Your patience to hear me when I cry and comfort me when I want to give up.
Help me hold tightly to the promise that You love me infinitely more than my spouse ever could.
I praise You for proclaiming the impossible over my life when I feel hopeless and forgotten.
Forgive me for the blessings I take for granted in my marriage.
Thank you for giving me someone to share my life with – for better or for worse.
Thank you for the opportunities to learn and grow with my spouse.
I acknowledge you are greater than any of my marital problems.
Please help me correct these issues
And learn to love and be loved by my spouse.
Forgive me for holding my spouse accountable for a love I can only receive from You, Lord
And for holding our problems at their feet.
You are love, I am not.
Help me to remember you can pick me up when I fall.
Bless my marriage with a special friendship rooted in Your Word and love.
Soften my heart and tongue so I can hear and speak to my spouse openly and honestly.
Help me listen to their words and to set aside my anger, hurt and frustrations.
Send your Holy Spirit to guide me in daily prayer for our marriage and touch my spouse, that they also offer a prayer to you for our marriage and for me.
Thank you, Father.
Talk to your spouse. Share your problems and be prepared to listen to them. Learn to hear the other person’s concerns and work together to rebuild that which was lost.
The Lord has blessed your marriage – never forget it. Turn to Him as a couple and offer a Marriage blessing to one another.
Recall your vows and speak them back to each other. Try to show your spouse your love and be ready to receive theirs as well. Pray together and on your own, then learn to fall in love all over again.